What is wrong with my father? He's my boyfriend. Is it wrong for me to go out with my boyfriend? What the heck is wrong with it? Just a movie.
Tomorrow go out with Jerusha. Not him. So what if people say I always go out? Who the ass are they to say me? Go out everyday got what problem? Just go out for almost 2 hours only. Not like he will kidnap me or what! Even if you don't feel safe, I feel damn freaking safe. You don't let me go out when I say his name. What the hell? What's wrong with him? Ask me don't go so close to him. I am not my brother! I know how to control my feelings. My brother ownself find fault not me! I am in the correct lane. Eventhough next time things like him happen on me, I won't be showing those feelings to you! Even now I'm happy, you don't even know. What feelings I have, you don't even know. So, when I break up, will you ever know I'm sad? I'm depressed? Heck no! You won't know at all!! Cause you all, none of you in this family know what I feel nor care what I feel! All you think is only your own feelings!
Can't you just give me freedom to let me go out with my OWN BOYFRIEND FOR GOD SAKE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not like I'm going out with him everyday. Not like you ever let me go out with him everyday. Not like you ever know what's the feelings of going out with him.
If you disagree of him being with me cause of his grandma is related to my mum's sister, I WILL NOT GIVE A DAMN ASS CARE ABOUT IT! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY IT!!! IT'S A NO BLOOD RELATION SO JUST LEAVE IT!!!!
You have no right to ask me to leave my boyfriend. I have my OWN choice. Love life is my life. Not yours. Not any of yours!
Let me choose my own love life. I will NOT regret!!!!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My Boyfriend
He said "it's not like this relationship is not working."
- I didn't think about this at all.
He said about Scott.
- You might think he will be like that, but you are wrong.
- You can say you know what he is thinking, I think I know better.
- He tells me about all his feelings towards one girl and I have seen the picture and chatted with her.
He said about the consequences.
- I do understand. Really.
- I've promised him before you told me about it. Even before you told me about it, I was already thinking whether I am doing the right thing or not. After thinking a lot of times, I put friends forward.
- Although I sound like I don't care about what you said - the consequences - I really do care a lot.
He said about me feeling awkward or who awkward blabla
- If you said it is a bullshit, think it in a girl's way.
- If you said it is a bullshit, why will my friends understand what I was trying to tell them? Why would they agree with it?
- Try putting yourself in a girl's situation. It is not a bullshit.
He said about he is the one always asking me to go out and I seldom do and so on.
- You ask me out. Yes I really want to go out with you. But, my dad will never let me. If I go out with you alone and my dad knows, he will not let. Hence, I have to lie sometimes that my friends were with me also. I take risk.
- I ask you out when I'm going out with friends. Cause, you are my boyfriend. Who else do you want me to ask? Another point is, I want to spend time with you also in the meantime.
He said about the tak syokness.
- I'd think before "Its ok if he goes out with her. Cause I did that last time."
- The only thing I tak syok is, you go out with her without telling me. At least I do. Cause I went out with him once before without telling you, you were in total anger. So, I dare not anymore. Then, you go out with her without me knowing about it.
- I'm jealous. Yes I am. Cause she gets to go out with you without her parents saying a thing but I can't.
He said he has been trusting me fully for a very long time.
- Yes you did. But when that thing happened, you said you aren't able to. Now you said you have been trusting me fully?
- I admit it was my wrong last time.
He said he doesn't know why I have the thinking of gaining his trust back.
- I have no idea how to gain that.
- Trust can be gain back
- Because you are my boyfriend and I am treating you as my boyfriend and I think I should let my boyfriend trust me fully.
- So I shall not do things that break his trust.
- But, choosing to go out with another guy as a friend to accompany him to the museum seems like is not a good thing.
- So, thinking for the sixth time, I shall not go.
-------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------
I know you don't say "I love you" that often to me and you had told me before.
Sometimes, I just feel like a necessity to hear you say it as a comfort to me.
Sometimes the way you talk to me, react towards me, really makes me wonder whether you really love me or care for me.
I know you really love you - like you said just now until very emotional that makes me melt 15% - but eventhough you really do and eventhough i really do, can you change my dad's and bro's impression?
I hope you understand my feelings also.
Sometimes, I really can imagine us being together till we get married. But, when my dad and bros said things, it's hard for me to imagine.
Maybe now I say I want to be with you always. But, will they ever understand? I mean, I'm the one choosing I know. If they don't, what will happen to me? To you? To us?
Sorry for that pressure you have from them. I know it's not easy.
People say whoever is my boyfriend is a very lucky man. In my mind, it's hard to be my boyfriend as I see my own boyfriend having these kind of pressures. Seeing him not to tell me what he feels, really makes me don't feel comfortable at all.
My boyfriend, is not as smart as you think he is, is not as rich as you think he is, is not as handsome as you think he is, is not as fit as you think he is.
But these are all small matters for me.
I feel happy when I'm with him.
I feel safe when I'm with him.
I feel good when I'm with him.
He bullies me sometimes but I like being bullied by him.
It makes me happy though cause it's him.
The original him, the real him, the true him, are what I love the most.
- I didn't think about this at all.
He said about Scott.
- You might think he will be like that, but you are wrong.
- You can say you know what he is thinking, I think I know better.
- He tells me about all his feelings towards one girl and I have seen the picture and chatted with her.
He said about the consequences.
- I do understand. Really.
- I've promised him before you told me about it. Even before you told me about it, I was already thinking whether I am doing the right thing or not. After thinking a lot of times, I put friends forward.
- Although I sound like I don't care about what you said - the consequences - I really do care a lot.
He said about me feeling awkward or who awkward blabla
- If you said it is a bullshit, think it in a girl's way.
- If you said it is a bullshit, why will my friends understand what I was trying to tell them? Why would they agree with it?
- Try putting yourself in a girl's situation. It is not a bullshit.
He said about he is the one always asking me to go out and I seldom do and so on.
- You ask me out. Yes I really want to go out with you. But, my dad will never let me. If I go out with you alone and my dad knows, he will not let. Hence, I have to lie sometimes that my friends were with me also. I take risk.
- I ask you out when I'm going out with friends. Cause, you are my boyfriend. Who else do you want me to ask? Another point is, I want to spend time with you also in the meantime.
He said about the tak syokness.
- I'd think before "Its ok if he goes out with her. Cause I did that last time."
- The only thing I tak syok is, you go out with her without telling me. At least I do. Cause I went out with him once before without telling you, you were in total anger. So, I dare not anymore. Then, you go out with her without me knowing about it.
- I'm jealous. Yes I am. Cause she gets to go out with you without her parents saying a thing but I can't.
He said he has been trusting me fully for a very long time.
- Yes you did. But when that thing happened, you said you aren't able to. Now you said you have been trusting me fully?
- I admit it was my wrong last time.
He said he doesn't know why I have the thinking of gaining his trust back.
- I have no idea how to gain that.
- Trust can be gain back
- Because you are my boyfriend and I am treating you as my boyfriend and I think I should let my boyfriend trust me fully.
- So I shall not do things that break his trust.
- But, choosing to go out with another guy as a friend to accompany him to the museum seems like is not a good thing.
- So, thinking for the sixth time, I shall not go.
-------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------
I know you don't say "I love you" that often to me and you had told me before.
Sometimes, I just feel like a necessity to hear you say it as a comfort to me.
Sometimes the way you talk to me, react towards me, really makes me wonder whether you really love me or care for me.
I know you really love you - like you said just now until very emotional that makes me melt 15% - but eventhough you really do and eventhough i really do, can you change my dad's and bro's impression?
I hope you understand my feelings also.
Sometimes, I really can imagine us being together till we get married. But, when my dad and bros said things, it's hard for me to imagine.
Maybe now I say I want to be with you always. But, will they ever understand? I mean, I'm the one choosing I know. If they don't, what will happen to me? To you? To us?
Sorry for that pressure you have from them. I know it's not easy.
People say whoever is my boyfriend is a very lucky man. In my mind, it's hard to be my boyfriend as I see my own boyfriend having these kind of pressures. Seeing him not to tell me what he feels, really makes me don't feel comfortable at all.
My boyfriend, is not as smart as you think he is, is not as rich as you think he is, is not as handsome as you think he is, is not as fit as you think he is.
But these are all small matters for me.
I feel happy when I'm with him.
I feel safe when I'm with him.
I feel good when I'm with him.
He bullies me sometimes but I like being bullied by him.
It makes me happy though cause it's him.
The original him, the real him, the true him, are what I love the most.
Friday, January 8, 2010
BIG ISSUE!! and small issue..
the BIG ISSUE!!!!jeng jeng jeng!!!
Aiyak! Cannot write out la. Later I masuk I.S.A. I can't say the word. I only can say..
AIYOR!!!YOU ALL THINK YOU ARE THE KING OF ALL HOMOSAPIENS A?! I THINK THE GOD WON'T CARE ABOUT IT AND YOU ALL WANT SHOW HOW GREAT YOU ALL ARE! KING OF THE JUNGLE A?!
*clear throat*
Well, think twice before you do a thing. God gave your a brain in your skull, not in your pinehole (sorry God for saying bad word), OKAY! Brain is not in your asshole. So, use the brain wisely. Don't keep your brain in your asshole and flow with out with your poop. Cause if you do that, you are the brainless person on earth. Opps, more like THE brainless PEOPLE living on this particular planet named earth.
the SMALL ISSUE!!!!
My dad is making a lot of fuss nowadays. Let me put it in a very simple way.
I am searching for the one that I want to spend my whole entire life with.
I am searching for the husband.
I am the one having a boyfriend.
I am the one that has the right to choose a guy that makes me happy in everyway I am.
So, it is all about me. Right? But, my dad is always telling me, everyday, not to mix with my own boyfriend a lot. Telling me when I go college, university, there'll be a lot of choices. Hello? I'm happy being with him now and you want me to like avoid him or something is it? Seeing your daugther happy isn't it good? Rather than seeing your daughter sad, miserable, having plain life.
Parents only want their children to be happy. I am happy. Aren't you happy, Papa?
........................................................................................................................................................................
Aiyak! Cannot write out la. Later I masuk I.S.A. I can't say the word. I only can say..
AIYOR!!!YOU ALL THINK YOU ARE THE KING OF ALL HOMOSAPIENS A?! I THINK THE GOD WON'T CARE ABOUT IT AND YOU ALL WANT SHOW HOW GREAT YOU ALL ARE! KING OF THE JUNGLE A?!
*clear throat*
Well, think twice before you do a thing. God gave your a brain in your skull, not in your pinehole (sorry God for saying bad word), OKAY! Brain is not in your asshole. So, use the brain wisely. Don't keep your brain in your asshole and flow with out with your poop. Cause if you do that, you are the brainless person on earth. Opps, more like THE brainless PEOPLE living on this particular planet named earth.
the SMALL ISSUE!!!!
My dad is making a lot of fuss nowadays. Let me put it in a very simple way.
I am searching for the one that I want to spend my whole entire life with.
I am searching for the husband.
I am the one having a boyfriend.
I am the one that has the right to choose a guy that makes me happy in everyway I am.
So, it is all about me. Right? But, my dad is always telling me, everyday, not to mix with my own boyfriend a lot. Telling me when I go college, university, there'll be a lot of choices. Hello? I'm happy being with him now and you want me to like avoid him or something is it? Seeing your daugther happy isn't it good? Rather than seeing your daughter sad, miserable, having plain life.
Parents only want their children to be happy. I am happy. Aren't you happy, Papa?
........................................................................................................................................................................
THE END!!!!!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
To You *smirk*
You smoke....
I S.M.A.C.K
Lets say it again.
You smoke......
I S.M.A.C.K YOU A.S.S.H.O.L.E
*sweet smile* :) hmm..thank you very much although I don't know who you are or you don't know who I am :) *winks*
I S.M.A.C.K
Lets say it again.
You smoke......
I S.M.A.C.K YOU A.S.S.H.O.L.E
*sweet smile* :) hmm..thank you very much although I don't know who you are or you don't know who I am :) *winks*
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
2010
Since I am in the new year, 2010, not 2009, I guess I'm going to change in the sense of fashion, styles, attitude, personallity, thinking. Hmm. Not that I'll change to the bad one but I will try to change the bad ones to the good ones. And in fashion styles, maybe it will be different from the 2009 Tang Fong. HAHA! Sorry brothers and daddy and mummy. Didn't mean to change my style but mm-hmm, your daughter is growing up with fashions.
I have bad temper. I am going to change this one. Got to try to control my temper when I explore the world. Having this kind of temper is not good at all. You'll tend to make the problems bigger and make yourself stress more. Last time before I enter Form Four, I was able to control. Very well. Things changed. But now,I'm gonna find back the old me :)
Sometimes, I could be very childish. Sometimes, I could be very mature. Sometimes, I could be very open. I think I should be more or less of the very stable attitude kind of girl. When I am childish or mature or open, people scold me. More like nag me. So, I should be more careful on my thoughts. Hehe.
I have to learn to spend money more wisely. I can't waste that much money anymore. NO NO. Ohkay...no more..on clothes? :( Okay. I'd bought quite enough for my leaving to OZ. When it's winter, I'll buy those coats or whatever over there. So, I'm gonna just spend money on food? Hehe. Haih. Must be a good girl :P
A new year and a new beginning. Time to throw all those bad memories and think ahead :)
I have bad temper. I am going to change this one. Got to try to control my temper when I explore the world. Having this kind of temper is not good at all. You'll tend to make the problems bigger and make yourself stress more. Last time before I enter Form Four, I was able to control. Very well. Things changed. But now,I'm gonna find back the old me :)
Sometimes, I could be very childish. Sometimes, I could be very mature. Sometimes, I could be very open. I think I should be more or less of the very stable attitude kind of girl. When I am childish or mature or open, people scold me. More like nag me. So, I should be more careful on my thoughts. Hehe.
I have to learn to spend money more wisely. I can't waste that much money anymore. NO NO. Ohkay...no more..on clothes? :( Okay. I'd bought quite enough for my leaving to OZ. When it's winter, I'll buy those coats or whatever over there. So, I'm gonna just spend money on food? Hehe. Haih. Must be a good girl :P
A new year and a new beginning. Time to throw all those bad memories and think ahead :)
Monday, December 28, 2009
The days after SPM is getting bored and bored each day. Plus, when you can't go out freely and come home without hearing lecture from the professor in the house. I'm getting very bored with my life. Friends are going off to college, work soon but I can't spend time with them more. More like, we didn't hang out at all? Haih.. I'm hoping to go to Australia soon. But, I want to spend time with them before I go cause I know I won't be able to meet them often.
What am I suppose to do now? Even when I watch dramas, movies, my dad lecture me so much. I didn't exercise. I feel very tired when I do so. My knees hurt. My back hurts. I want to play badminton. I want to play tennis. I want to run. I want to jump. I want to stretch. I can't. If I am able to do all these things, I won't be so bored.
Well, I meet Tian Hua very often now. Almost everyday. The times I spend with him weren't that bored but after meeting him, I will have nothing to do.
I haven't been to Lake Garden in a very long time already. I feel like going there for a walk. Will my dad let? I guess he will say "House already got treadmill, why want go there?" Haih. Just for a WALK not run or something. I need fresh air, release my boredness, calm myself by looking at those beautiful tress,grass and those naughty little monkeys walking on the wires.
Hmm. I guess I'm just gonna sit in front of the computer, tv, piano today :)
What am I suppose to do now? Even when I watch dramas, movies, my dad lecture me so much. I didn't exercise. I feel very tired when I do so. My knees hurt. My back hurts. I want to play badminton. I want to play tennis. I want to run. I want to jump. I want to stretch. I can't. If I am able to do all these things, I won't be so bored.
Well, I meet Tian Hua very often now. Almost everyday. The times I spend with him weren't that bored but after meeting him, I will have nothing to do.
I haven't been to Lake Garden in a very long time already. I feel like going there for a walk. Will my dad let? I guess he will say "House already got treadmill, why want go there?" Haih. Just for a WALK not run or something. I need fresh air, release my boredness, calm myself by looking at those beautiful tress,grass and those naughty little monkeys walking on the wires.
Hmm. I guess I'm just gonna sit in front of the computer, tv, piano today :)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
Thought I won't be able to write a blog today cause I just wrote one. But, I need to spill out my feelings. God damn, its Christmas. MERRY christmas. Suppose to be a very MERRY day but my day turn out to be very "MERRY".
First Story
I thought I can watch "The Treasure Hunter" but I couldn't. Why? Dad doesn't allow me anymore. COME ON!! A promise is a promise. Should keep it and just let me go. Not change the plan last minute. Yesterday we were suppose to go Ipoh for dinner and heck no we didn't. Boring christmas eve and christmas day. Then at last my dad let me go for the movie but this morning he said NO. WHAT THE HELL!!!! I can't go karaoke, can't go for movie, can't go out with friends, can't go out with those kids. What I want to do then? Sit at home watch tv and get scolding from dad. Fine. No tv then. No computer then. Sleep the whole christmas day.
Second Story
Suddenly I saw him online. I straight away click it. I thought he blocked me. How come I still can see him online? But, when I click him, he straight away off. I'm confuse now. Did he really block me or just put appear offline? I want to talk or chat with him. Never again. People might think that I am happy he and I are not friends. Wrong. I am NOT happy at all. From outside, I might look happy cause i fake those laughters, those words, those smile. How can I be happy by losing a best friend? Although I have boyfriend, but a boyfriend and best friend is totally different. Those feelings are different. You can't compare a boyfriend and a best friend. Well, a promise is a promise. Don't ever break the chain.
Third Story
Sigh. No Jay Chou for today. No Tian Hua for today. Nobody to hang out with. No Jerusha for today. No Scott for today :(
Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone. I'm 100% sure that my friends are having a blast today. Smile :)
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