Stick To One And Only One

Why is it so hard for you to stick to one thing and not to change it? Especially, when it comes to religion. Why on earth do you have to change? Do you think by changing your religion, you will change everything? You can turn everything to normal? Fuck no! Stop dreaming and start realizing what you did were all WRONG and it all came from your BRAIN. YOUR BRAIN not the religion that you had !

What makes you think that the religion you had did not help you? It is actually YOU did not let go your bad thoughts, your devil side of you when you pray ! The religion you're entering teach you to put away all those but the religion you had thought you too but you did not apply! You are applying it now with the new religion because you realized that what you did were wrong ! That is why you think that new religion is good. Open your eyes!!!!!!!! Open your mind!!! Make up your mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You dont have any rights to ask me to do anything or give you anything NOW and FOREVER !!!!!!!

Life After Death

I wonder what is the life after one's death.
What is it like?
What will you feel after your last beat?
What will you see after your last beat?
Where will you go?
How is your life going to be?
If you're being reborn, what will your life be?
Will you be able to be human again? Or animal or others?
Will you be able to see if anybody is crying for you?
Will anybody cry for you?
What will happen the second after you leave the world?

I really wish I could see what our life will be when we are dead.

To get ready, I guess?

It's too over to ask God to show me.

I shall keep wondering ?

Rude Words That I know That I Will Say

Shit !

Fuck !

Son of a bitch !

Bitch !

Damn !

Fuck off !

Fuck the dog !

Kan !

Kao beh !

Kanasai !

Diu !

Cao ni ma !

Ni ma de pi !

Wo cao !

Kan ni lao bu !

Ma hai !

Chi bai !

So hai !

Much better...

Return to Taiping

2nd day in Taiping, I still have nothing else to do other than playing piano, computer, eat, exercise, sleep. No activities! And, I am feeling sleepy and tired!

I am missing Melbourne now. I wish I am still there. But, too bad so sad, I can't.

Friends!! I'm gonna rot like how I used to rot before I leave to Melbourne!

Anyway, I have food to company me before I meet my friends :D FOOod~~~ HAHAH

Sometimes, not all things that I understand I can explain it out. Not even in situation. I just need to absorb everything and keep it in mind. No use asking me whether I understand it or not because I understand. I will say I don't understand if I said "What?" "Come again?"

Why are you always saying I am not doing the thing that I am doing? I mean I know what I am doing or thinking but why do you say I am not doing or thinking? Whatever I do seems like a different outcome to you.

I guess that I have to learn the way you live instead of the way I live? I can do one. Not all.

I may have no limits in putting you after my friends but you are definitely more important than them. Not in actions but in mind.

Fixing it really need a long time. I am trying but you couldn't see it. Cause, I have been doing the same bloody mistakes over and over and over again. God, help me! I really wish I can fix it, like NOW.

I WISH~

- to go to Jay Chou's concert in March in MALAYSIA

- to turn back time

- there is video that shows our past

- to punch a wall

- to sit in the bathroom under cold running shower for as long as I can

- I can solve the problems I am having now

- to sleep whole day like 24 hours without any second of eye-opening

- to run as far as I can, as fast as I can

- to cry

- to scream

- to know what people think and feel

- to go back

Questions from YOU

Why did you even bother asking me all those?

"So, he is your best friend. Then I am..?"

"Who is ...." (I'm not going to write it)

Why on earth you want to know? I bet you already know the answer so why did you even care to know? I am not going to bring back the past in our conversations. I just want our conversations to be NORMAL like normal old friends.

A Post to Fill My Spare Time

I am going to have a busy, tiring week starting from Monday. God bless me please! Books everywhere, papers everywhere, notes everywhere in my room. Messy room I have but at least it was tidier than my previous rooms in Taiping ( HAH! SEE! I know how to handle things by myself! :P ) .

I was 47kg before I came here. WAS 47kg until yesterday when I checked. 49kg! :D hehehe I don't know whether it is a good news or bad news. But, what the hell, I don't care. I'll just eat and exercise like usual. Muahahaha! I am just aiming for myself not being underweight -.-' and a little bit muscular tummy :( I want my hard tummy back~ TRAIN!! hahahah

Weather here is getting warmer, except these 3 days. Raining like hell! 24 7! There was hail last night and I didn't get the chance to see them! Heard it was a hail STORM. lol wonder how stormy it is. Hopefully it will be sunny and non-rainy next week then I will have better life in college. OHYA! It will be the last week of my 1st sem! Then the biggie exam. *sobs* Will be home 19 days after my exam :) I don't feel the urge to go back though. IF only I can choose not to go back, but I can't. I have the open ticket. ggrrrrr So, left me no choice :(

I might be going to Thailand..or Taiwan with my dad. HAHAH I have no idea my dad wants to go. He just called me randomly and said "Bring your winter coats when you come back malaysia. We might be going to Taiwan." And for a second, I thought Malaysia's gonna have winter. HAHAHAH IMPOSSIBLE

Alrighty! Time to head back to books! Toodles! :)

S.T.O.P.T.A.L.K.I.N.G

Just SSSSSTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPP talking. I will appreciate it. I already said I dont want to think about this now and you still continue talking about this. I dont want to add another matter to worry about in my brain! I'm already so pissed off already. Don't have to make me more pissed!!!!!!

I.A.M.A.S.P.O.I.L.T.K.I.D.

Sometimes I just do not understand what is wrong with them. I tried making things easier, better, more perfect, but in the end, nobody wants to follow it. And when I followed what they want and I screwed it up, I get scolded by them. It is not like I never told them my better idea that will not make a big fuss. I did told you all that I wanted that because it is better and blablabla and did you all listen???? I've said before if I blow it, DON'T find me and scold me. But what happened? I got scolded for the thing when I blew it. What is the point? Isn't it better if you all just let me have that thing before hand and I can even save your money? What is making so hard for you to say YES? Not like you spent very little before this. Getting that a little extra is not comparable than what you got. You spent over the limit but I won't. You may say I am a spoilt kid trying to use dad's money like water. You may say I am getting worse. You may say I am carefree. You may say I am rebellious. You may say I am a pest. I DON'T CARE.

I just plan a better thing for me. IS IT WRONG??????????????????? I just plan a better thing that makes everyone's life easier. IS IT WRONG????????? Even if I have no stress from my work, you all give me stress!!!!! Making so much fuss that I do not even want to have!! Since when will I have any suggestions made by myself??? I have grown up!!!! At least I am not as bad tempered as you! At least I am more tolerate than you! I look like I don't know how to control but I DO KNOW. Sometimes, not all things can be shown from me that I can do. Not like you know me well. None of you know me well AT ALL. Even when you all say you know me very well, I don't think so. You all never try to know me. What the hell? Just dump me aside then !!!

I did not get what I wanted since years ago from you all and that is so important for a kid. Without it, the kid goes hey-wire. And that kid is me. And the thing I have always wanted is happiness. Don't you all realize how important your role is? I learn so many things by myself. I experienced so many things cause of you all. And I am just trying to make things right but NOBODY ever listen to this girl's voice because you all treat me as a kid that knows nothing and invisible!!!!!!!!! Ever thought what I will feel?? You ask me the same question but do you ever though what I will feel for years??????????????????????????????

I AM DONE WITH ALL OF YOUR DEEDS. LET ME MAKE ME DECISIONS!!!! AT LEAST SOME OF IT!!!!!

Life I am Having Now

When is winter going to be over? I'm craving for September BADLY. Firstly, I will turn 18 in September - like finally. Then it will be spring! No more winter!! For the year :D Which means jogging freely without worrying I will faint or die of coldness halfway.

Actually, my life here isn't that bad. Stressful in a way, fun in a lot of ways HAHAHA Had a lot of fun with my friends lately. I'm glad I met such people like them (music-mates). I feel happy around them, less stress. Before I come to Melbourne, I was so worried I will not meet any nice people or I will be a LONER here. But hey, you'll never know. NEver keep yourself in a cage and I am sure you won't feel lonely at all. Sometimes you will feel lonely, it's fun to be lonely over here in a certain period of the day. You can't expect to walk everywhere with a friend here. Nobody does that. Not nobody, more like not many.

Maybe some of them in the college or whoever will think that I'm such a bitch cause I am always with guys. Honestly, I have more guy friends and girl friends. The closest friends I have in college are all in music class. I don't see my girl friends often. But, that doesn't mean that I don't have girl friends just because you all never see me walking with girls -.-' Girls in my classes like to stare at me in a super weird way that does not make me feel easy at all. How do you expect me to be friends with you all? At least the guys are more friendly. Just because I am a chinese girl NOT from China and does not speak good chinese you all have to stare at me one kind right? I am from MALAYSIA. Not CHINA. BIGGIE DIFFERENCE HERE HELLO???

At least I have fun with my friends in a GOOD way. Not clubbing :P See..guai kia HAHAHA

I found that my college has a lot of Vietnamese. Now I have more Vietnamese friends. Hard to communicate as their accent is..................... hardly understandable. LOL But, at least they are all nice people right? And some of the girls really cute ! (Not the guys..none of them are handsome -.-' except my music lecturer and that guy :D )

Right....I forgot what I want to say. Nevermind. Lets jump to other point.
Technology...................................................................iPhone......
I just did something WRONG and TERRIBLE to my housemate's new iPhone 4. LOL but we managed to reset and erase every single thing! HAHA Lets wait for Tian Hua to do everything all over AGAIN. I'm a total dumbo in this iPhone Apple stuffs. Well, at least I know how to handle Sony Ericsson phones MUAHAHAAHAH Still smart anyway :P

Okie dokie..Tests coming soon..HOlidays SOON!!!! YESSS!!!!!! Concert coming soon....nooooooooooooooooooooooo
Have been busy practicing piano and studying. Lack of food!!! Have not been eating well this 2 days :( huhuhu Where can I find time to study and eat and practice?? HOW????!!!!! Never felt this stress before..Now I know.. Terrible.. Horrible.. Vegetable...........

TestsssSSS

It's such a horrible thing to have a test every SINGLE week for 3 different subjects. Each one a week!!! I had my advanced maths and mod maths. NOT GOOD ! Others could score even higher, even full marks by skipping classes, late for classes, sleeping in classes ! And me????? I'm so fucking stupid compared to them. I felt so freaking hopeless. Made me feel more stress. Even for my maths test. I have never been so stressful for exams. Especially TEST. What have I become I wonder. Physics, fuck all of those questions. I never expect I will get bad result. Hell yes I failed!! -.-' For the college, it is a fail if you are under 50% - BAD RECORD.

Haih... Nevermind..I have more tests to come. I just got to put more oil into my brain since my brain has rust for 7 months.

Somebody to Love

Maybe some of you out there will think "Glee??" when you guys see the title but I'm not gonna talk about Glee as I never watch it before. The song is just in my head so I have nothing else to put as my title.

So, yeah!!! I'm still alive!! After 2 weeks in college! Yeah!!! -.-'

Well, it is not THAT bad but it is still BAD. Although my days are getting better in classes and blah blah blah. Met quite a lot of people and had fun talking and correcting each languages. Yea man. CORRECTing EACH languageS. Most of my friends are from China and their english aren't that good but we are okay as my mandarin sucks too so we are all equal. We help each other you see? Aawww such a wonderful people. It's hard though to interpret what they are trying to tell me in English. I will have to stare at a spot and think REAAAALLLLLLLYYYYYY hard to get the point. And I will go "YEA YEA YEA" or "Dui dui dui (means correct in mandarin) " or "Wo dong / ming bai (means understand in mandarin) " Then, we laugh and said okay. Hmm....... what a conversation~ It's not that I am laughing at them or look down on them, I am just SHARING my conversations with the China people :)

It's getting seriously cold over here. I'm suppose to shower but I am here writing my blog. Why? Cause, I feel like it. And Why?? Cause, hmm I dont know how to put in words.

Music class is very very fun. Sometimes. I bet most of you dont know I am singing in the choir?? Soprano??? HAHAHAHAHAH Yes I am in the choir singing soprano. Very not good. I know. Maybe some of you will go "Whaat??????????? Seriously??? Tang FOng???? Singing???? Soprano????? HUhhh????????????? That doesnt make any sense!!!"
What the hell, I am in the soprano which I dont like AT ALL!!! The highest key I can reach is D but now you want me to hit the note E and F??????? OH MY GOSH! This is crazy!! No wonder my throat is feeling so itchy now. But anyway, it's fun! It will be more fun when we get to see Mr. Smith does his funny face to reach the high note and the way he stamp his feet, say oh my god with his hand covering his mouth, doing some magic fingers. Obviously nobody laughs out loud, we talk after the class and we were like "Did you see how he react just now?? Its so funny like how he goes "AH!!NO!!" you know??" Bad students talk about teacher. Not good.

I dont want to talk about other subjects. THey are just BORING except my Eng and Maths teacher. Oh yea~ My maths teacher is soooooooooo funny. He always try to make fun of his OWN teaching just to attract our attention. He's way too fun. And my eng teacher, he is always saying "Aiyah!" and he is Ang moh! Very surprising for us when he said aiyah. Its really amazing when you see ang moh tries to speak our language / accent.

Conclusion, nice~~~ Thats all I can say about my college. They are full of fun :) but of course, gotto study right? Hmmmm

Go Go Go Go!! *encouraging myself*

Differences of Australia and Malaysia

Okay yea. I'm in Australia (OZ). Melbourne to be exact. And I'm going to write out some obvious differences between Melbourne and Taiping.

Melbourne, Australia

1. You can wear snow cap, hat, caps, hoodies, 3 layers of clothes, boots, scarfs, leggings, people will not stare at you and say you're crazy.
2. The toilet is so clean and dry that you can even pick the tissue that is on the floor and it does not stink. AT ALL.
3. You can wear as sexy as you want and people will not stare at you.
4. You can jog whenever and wherever you want without worrying much about people grabbing you and rape you.
5. You can put your handbags on the floor when you are at the restaurant because nobody's going to take it.
6. You can put your bicycles anywhere you want but the chances of getting stolen is less.
7. You don't have to worry about eating or walking alone like an emo kid. People will not stare.
8. When you are at shops or restaurants, even if you are looking only, the workers will ask "Hello how are you? Need any help?" with a smile :)

Taiping, Malaysia

1. If you wear snow cap, hat, caps, hoodies, at least 2 layers of clothes, boots, scarfs, leggings, people will stare at you and say you're insane. Panas la dei..
2. The toilet is so dirty and wet and stinky that your pee doesn't even want to flow out.
3. You can wear as sexy as you want but you will be raped a second after you step out of your house.
4. You can jog and run and walk whenever wherever you want with people following you at the back grabbing you or rape you or kill you.
5. You can put you handbags on the floor. Which means you are giving your stuffs to strange people for FREE.
6. You cannot put your bicycles wherever you want or else it will go missing the minute you walk away.
7. You will have to worry about people staring at you when you are eating or walking alone like an emo kid. People say you have mental problem.
8. When you are at shops or restaurants, nobody greets you eventhough you ask for a service.

So, these are some of the differences that I have in my mind for now. Will add it when it comes into my mind.

Well, Melbourne, so far so good except for my tummy. Tummy isn't feeling good for 3 days already. Not good. NOT good :( I don't even know whether I am hungry or not. Even if I am hungry, my tummy does not want to eat. *cry*

Will update my blog sooner or later :) Goody night !

S-P-I-D-E-R

I am a human bigger than any spiders on earth - obviously - but I am afraid of them as I have bad experience with them before this. So, whenever I see one, no matter what size are they in, I will RUN and scream PAPA!!!! or I will stare at it and think what I should do and I will grab any solid stuffs or tissue and PIAK!!! them.

Not gonna talk about this but I am gonna boast about :

I KILLED A SPIDER WITH MY OWN BARE HAND!!!!!!!

Damn! I am so proud of myself! Actually, it wasn't an intention to kill it with BARE hand without any "weapons" with me. I was in the car and its parked perfectly fine in the porch. And, I saw an insect on my window - never thought it is a spider - so I just PIAK!! the insect. Then, when I look at my palm and saw the insect I went SPIDER!!!!!! Then I quickly rub my hand with a cloth. Flashback, "Did I just kill a spider with my hand?????"

YEAH!!! I DID!!! *ego face* Brothers! Papa! Look! I am so daring!!!

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKA So happy~ But of course, I won't do that anymore. heh :)

ps : its actually a very small tiny miny spider. lol

Craving for Puma sneakers ! *not food*

12th of June, my 3rd brother will be coming back home. WEEEE~~~ No more loneliness, no more speaking to myself at home, no more singing alone, no more eating lunch and breaky alone. *peace*

This is a silver Puma sneakers and I want it so badly that I don't know where to get them. My dad will say a simple NO for me wanting to buy this sneakers. Because, he wants me to be more feminine which I am trying to be one for years. But hey, I don't have to be feminine the whole time right? Too bad, I have a boy in me :D

I WANT THE SHOE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

W.H.I.M.P.E.R

I keep saying "I am bored" , "So bored" and sentences that show I am bored. Okay. What a whimper I am. Although I am watching TV, alone, I still say "I am bored" to someone. And, starts comparing the moments when he is being alone. So, I shall say I am having a lot of funs :)

I am bored because whenever it's the advertisements, they did not attract me, so I am bored. Plus, I want to talk to MR. Pot Belly but he is not really free. Thus, I am bored. I feel restless and lazy. Conclusion, I am bored. I have nothing better else to do other than eating stuffs that I can that he can't, watching series, playing computer and going out with friends. Eventually, I feel bored.

To sum it all, I am a whimper. Fine. I must keep quiet and do not disturb anyone by saying "I am bored".

I am not angry. I am not being not happy. I am just wondering. I admit what I did was wrong. Now I am seeing what I did by you. It was my fault for doing it. Not that I am regretting it which some of my friends know I do not regret things, I am just realising that how wrong was I and why on earth I do that.

Right now, I can think for what you will feel, about the consequences and tolerate eventhough both of us wrong or I am wrong or you are wrong. Everything I want to tell, it did not mean by scolding. I just don't want to be rude to you. I just don't want to scold you or shout at you or scream at you. I just don't want to show my anger to you. Nobody has this from me except you. You never say sorry, I don't really mind. It's just that I don't feel good everytime I keep saying sorry eventhough I am not wrong. Not blaming you though and not saying you are wrong too. I know I am not suppose to think about all these stuffs but I have been keeping it to myself. I think for your feelings, but do you think about how I would feel too? Even some stuffs I never mention and you never mention and I know it is not what we want it to happen or didn't know it is like that, we just keep it and we never tell.

Asking myself not to think, don't simply think. When I go to bed, it is hard for me to sleep nowadays. Keep thinking about us. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I smile to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well these days. I find it so hard to sleep. I am tired. I even secretly drink alcohol to cool myself which is a bad thing to do. I can't help it. I want to stop doing all this. I don't want to do something that will spoil my life, my health, my mind, my everything.

I am missing you every single day. I know I will be there soon to see you, to touch you, to feel you, but I have no idea why am I suffering missing you. It has been almost 2 months since you left and I am not used to it yet. Why? WHY??!!! Can you please tell me why? Closing my eyes trying not to think. Yes I did it. But, my tears roll down for I do not know why. *exhale* aahhhh

I don't know what to do right now. I have nothing in my mind but you. I want to ignore about all these. Trying so hard to. Trying as hard as I can....

1stly..

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!

TO MY DEAREST BOYFRIEND!!!! Hehe :D sayang sayang :P

------2ndly-------

I've finally made my decision. The FINAL decision. Taylors' College, MUFY programme in Melbourne. Not USFP anymore. Goodbye Sydney...*sobs* But, it is a better choice. And my brother doesn't allow me to stay with him -.-' Cause of his laziness, I cannot stay with him. FINE~~Wait till I turn 18 then I shall move out!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to turn 18. FREEDOM!! in Australia. LOL

I.L.L.U.S.I.O.N.

I saw the woman and the child again tonight. This time, they were riding on a bike. I never noticed them until I saw the mirror in my car. They dissappeared as I turned. Left me wonder and looking for them. They were outside of my house too. Shined by the street lamp. It was the same situation years ago. Except, this time they were on a bike. What does this means? I don't understand. Maybe I am just thinking too much or maybe I am just tired.

S and S

Why do you have to appear in my life? Why do you have to make me scared of you? Why do you have to make me scream? Why do you have to make me cry? Why do you have to make me get scolded? Why are you in this earth? Why are you still breeding endlessly? Why do you have to disturb me? Go away go away go away go away go away dissappear!!!!!!!!

I am a Heartless Person

Ooh yea I am. But I'm still breathing still talking = still alive. Unbelievable.

I went out to dinner with my dad, in Prima. There's 3 ladies or women, 1 with guitar, 2 with something else, papers and cards I think. They came to my table. 1 lady or woman put a card on the table and say something in English but I don't understand. I look at the card. It says "Help the children in Need" and I heard the lady or woman said "charity" or something. That's the only thing I could hear -.-' My dad wouldn't want to. I couldn't donate any. I'm still YOUNG. 17 going to 18 ONLY. I have no money. So I said "No, we're okay. No thank you." WITH A SMILE!!
Guess what she said???
"OH MY GOD! HEARTLESS PEOPLE!!"

HELLO???!!!!! I DID CHARITIES TOO OKAY?????!!!!!!!!!!! I DONATED FOOD, CLOTHES, MONEY TOO OKAY??????????????? -.-'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

If I am the heartless people you're talking about, I won't be say "No, we're okay. blablabla" and I won't be sitting on the chair at the table with my eyes open and with a smile on my face.!!!! GET IT???!!!!!!!!

God, it is not that I do not want to help by donating money, plus, my purse has only RM1. If I hand that RM1 to that lady or woman, what will she even say?
"a?????only 1??????oh my god..."
That's the only sentence that I could think of -.-'

jl;kajv aslkjfalijkmnfdkalj hvao;jcma lkja;ksja

Secret Garden - Always There

Browsing through your pictures and it makes me wonder as my iTunes' playlist was playing "Always there".

You are there when I most need you
You are there so constantly
You come shining through,
you always do
You are always there for me

Not to say it's 100% not true. But, yea, you weren't here when I most need you. You weren't here so constantly. You don't come shining through my day when I need you. You don't always do. And, you are not always here for me. Maybe you read this you'll feel not happy about it. It just came through my mind. Cause I was thinking, "hmm..when is the time he'll be here when I'm suffering, stressing, angry, bad mood, or whatever?" So, flashback.

- Form 4, when I was crying like waterfall cause of her. That also like er..for a while.
- My application..failed..in genting. You were not there when I got the news. So, it didn't count.
- When I bang someone recently, but it was just a call -.-'
- Recording for my audition (this's the only fullest of need I got from you)

Maybe there's more but I couldn't recall much about it.

When I got disturbed after tuition (last year), wanted to tell you but you were hmm..do not want to bring it up cause it involves someone else.
When I argue with my dad for you, you were somewhere in town.
When I need someone to talk to, you were busy.
When I'm in a bad mood, I waited for you until the bad mood is gone. So, it became restless when I talk to you. Maybe that makes you feel not happy recently with my msges. Sorry for that :(

But, actually, I need you all the time. I am greedy. I know. You are too. I shall not be too greedy to have you with me all the time. So, nevermind.

Surprisingly, I did not miss you that much as I did for the past few weeks. Was making myself busy you see. Trying not to make myself miss you that much cause it makes me extremely lazy. Lying down on bed, play computer, lying on sofa just to think of you. But today, I spent hours on piano. And house chores (goodie girl). Then I realised I wasn't thinking much about you.

Here I am now, sitting in front of computer. Fine... Miss you already :( and you're sleeping. So early today. That's a different thing. And again, no reply when I msged. I know I didn't reply you in skype cause I was playing piano. Hey, I msged you directly after I read your msg. But no reply :( Maybe you're asleep already. Nevermind.

GOOD NIGHT!!!

ps : Don't get mad of me after reading this. Just a little part of how I feel.

I feel like pulling that particular someone's each body parts. PIECE BY PIECE!! ps : sorry God for me having this sinfull thought.

Is it a wrong thing for not talking to you? You were the one who didn't want to talk to me, like will never. I wished you a lot of occasions and that is already a polite thing for me to do and yet you were the one didn't give a damn about it. And now? I got it from someone for not talking to you when you came my house just to visit my dad. Ass you! I wasn't being rude to you. You were rude for not replying at least a THANK YOU will do. I did talked to you when you stepped into my house (although just 3 4 words but still did) but you MUMBLED like you were praying I do not know what. AIN'T MY FAULT!!!!!!!!

And Papa, I wasn't being like Mum. You didn't even know what was the real situation and you accused me for not talking to him. Not my wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT MINE!!!

SPM Result

Well, I won't tell it here. I do not want people to think that I'm boasting it. But, of course, not straight As'. Obviously -.-' Well, some of my friends didn't get good result. So, actually, I'm sorry to hear that. Didn't mean to discriminate you all here but I didn't mention name so I hope you'll understand. *big hug !!* It's over now. There's no need to be sad about it. Although some of you say my result is satisfying enough, yea true, unexpected, got happy, got excited, but hey, my english is still BAD alright? So, I'm not that happy after I know about my english. It's bad. For me.

Anyway, congrats to all SPM 2009 students that score good results :)

Bye bye SPM. It's the past now. No longer the present. GOODBYE !!!!

I am not sure what is your purpose on doing 2 jobs when you know you're going to fail your exam. Maybe you do it for me. But, she said its not. I don't know. I am sorry for you wasting your money to rent room for months but in the end I'm not there. Plus, wasting your energy and time to work, go to Uni, and bla and you non-stop complaining how tired you are but you still do not want to stop working. I don't know why.

I love my brother :(
I miss my brother :(

I know they do a lot of things for me, help me, advising me like hell but I do dumb stuffs that make their temperature raise up to 100 degree Celcious.

Right now, I am just hoping that whatever things you did, I will make it worth it.

Hopefully -.-'

Dog . Result .

I saw a dog in my neighbourhood while I was driving. It was a house dog, though I don't know what breed it is, but now it is a guard dog. It is white before this. Perfectly white. Beautiful. The owner bathe it but now no more. It is full with mud. Looking sad and old. So pityful. I feel like taking it home (but it's too big) and bathe it, take care of it but dad wouldn't let me :(

The current house dog is a big dog with its body covered with LONG fur (again, I don't know the breed name). Look so elegant. But the white dog is no longer an elegant dog. I wish I can take it home, badly :(

........................................................................................................................................................................

Finally, the doom day for the SPM 2009 students has finally arrive -ING. Before this, a lot people gave different dates. Now, finally our smart government gives us the REAL EXACT date.

11th of March 2010

So, shall wait and see. Plus, I have no idea what am I feeling now. Nervous, scared or panic. I do not know. I am just speechless~

"Where is your mother?"
- "At home"

"Why is your mum not out with you?"
- *smile and gigle* OR
- "Mum's not in taiping."

"You are not staying with your mother?"
- Hmm *smile and giggle*

"Your mum not at home?"
- Outstation

A lot more. Do not want to list it out. Part of it is here. Do not want to talk about it.

All the answers are fake..wrong...whatever..

I do not know where she is or what is she doing so i just lye. For?

S.A.T.I.S.F.A.C.T.I.O.N.

I do not like it when people ask me about her.

I do not want to know nor hear what people want to say about her.

To be more accurate, I do not want to know nor hear anything about the problems running in my family.


PROBLEMS!!GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Appreciate - ing

I argue over you everyday

Tired

Running out of points

Running out of tears

Can you please appreciate

I am appreciating

Feeling restless

Forgetting a lot of stuffs

Getting retarded by parts

I need ICE-CREAM !!

Toni Braxton ft. Trey Songz - Yesterday

Gave you the benefit of the doubt

Till you showed me what you were about

Your true colors came out

And your words couldn’t hide the scent

Cuz the truth about where you've been

Is in a fragrance I can’t recognize

Standing there

Scratching your head

Blood shot eyes, drunk with regret

(hanging yourself ten feet over the edge)

I’m done with this

Feeling like an idiot

Lovin you, I’m over it

I just don’t love you, don’t love you no more

You, you are so yesterday

Never thought you’d lose my love this way

Now you come begging me to stay

Say, you, you are so yesterday

I won’t let you rain on my parade

Don’t wanna hear a thing you say

So yesterday

Funny now how I’m gone

The little light in your head came on

Now you realize it's all your fault

Don’t you wish you had a time machine

That way you could change history

That's the only way that you could be with me

Standing there

Scratching your head

Blood shot eyes, drunk with regret

(hanging yourself ten feet over the edge)

I’m done with this

Feeling like an idiot

Lovin you, I’m over it

I just don’t love you, don’t love you no more….

You, you are so yesterday

Never thought you’d lose my love this way

Now you come begging me to stay

Honey, you, you are so yesterday

I won’t let you rain on my parade

Don’t wanna hear a thing you say

So yesterday

And now you wanna reminisce

Say you wanna try again

Started with a little kiss

(we can’t even regret) no nono

now I never wanna see you,

never wanna feel you ever wanna hear you

I don’t love you, don’t need you, can’t stand you

No More…..

You, you are so yesterday

Never thought you’d lose my love this way

Now you come begging me to stay

Baby, you……

you are so yesterday

I won’t let you rain on my parade

Don’t wanna hear a thing you say

So yesterday

So yesterday

So yesterday

Days After You Left

Some periods of time are seems to be empty suddenly. Seriously, it was a SUDDEN impact on the time I usually have with you. You'll bug me early in the morning by calling me when I AM in dreamland and say :

"Wei, I'll be reaching your house in 10 minutes (sometimes 5 sometimes 15) time. "

And, I will have to grumble up from my bed, feeling drunk, go to the loo, wash my face, brush my teeth and get down, go out, unlock the gate and drink few mouth of honey. 6 minutes gone. OOHKAY. Shall wait for another 4 minutes. So, I lay down on the sofa. Dozing off. 10 minutes pass. Hmm. He reached 30 minutes later sometimes an hour. He made me wake up SO early but in the end he reach late -.-' aiyoyo! Nevermind looo. Thats our morning time together but not everyday. But, it's alright. Now -.-' nobody bug me in the morning. That makes feel bored in the morning.

For some reasons, he HAS to call me when I'm in the car with my father. Not once but a lot of times. He will call me when he has nothing to do. I could even count. Every 4 hours he call me once or 5 hours. Now, my phone is so silent.

Night time, we will skype. Not everyday, but recently everyday (before he left of course). When it's time to sleep, he will just on his skype. Eventually, I'll on mine too. Oning songs, looking at him sleeping. The way he sleeps, really fascinate me. Haha. No idea why but yeah. Putting his left hand at the back of his neck, opening his mouth (I wonder what happenes if I let a cockroach enter his mouth.heheheh), breathing OUT loud, and the worse one is HIS SNORE! HAHA! Well, it makes me can't sleep but it wake me up just to get a look at him and doze off.

I still remember the night we spent in Penang and Genting. OMG! Haha. No offence hunny bunny. I could not have a good night AT ALL cause of his snore~ Maybe he was too tired and the way he breathe IS wrong. I should buy you breathe right when I get there :D Your belly is for me to sleep on cause it is sssssooooooo pillow-ish heh. Your chest, not really hard and not really soft, but it's comfortable. I still remember you hugged me suddenly at 4 AM plus. I WAS SLEEPING SO NICELY!!!!!!! And you woke me up -.-' You like to wake me up when I'm heaving good sleep huh? Eventually, I stay half awake till the next morning. Sleep wake sleep wake sleep wake. Naughty boy.

Warm warm~~Soft soft~~Comfy comfy~~ Heh :)

ps : HEY!!Girls out there..HE IS MINE!! :D

Now that you left to OZ, wo hao gu dan o.. Yea, we still do msg, chat, talk. But, the time difference is killing me. I finally got my license and I only drove you ONCE. -.-' Sobs..

I am B.O.R.E.D. I'm here and you're like there. Just got to wait for another few months. I hope. I guess. I think. I wonder. Hmm. Well... I love you, you love me. Thats it. I miss you, you miss me (me more). Thats it. There's so many things that remind me of you. Not good. Not good at all. Look front, I see you. Look left, I see you. Look right, I see you. Look behind, I see you. I smell things, I smell you. I hear things, I hear you. OH LORD!! You're everywhere!! How can I not miss you?

:P Mr. Chang Tian Hua..don't make me wait.

Mish you :)

Pray Drive Through

Yup. As you can see from my title of this post, please not that its not HITZ drive through but its PRAY drive through.

Well, I drove a lot today compared to the previous dayS. Simpang to aulong, aulong to bukit mas, bukit mas to plaza (dad drove cause was pouring), plaza to simpang. Felt so much more energetic after that. AHAHA

p/s : I know its grammartically WRONG

Here's the story. Dad wanted to go aulong (nun's house) to pray. So I said "I DRIVE I DRIVE!!" then I drove :D I managed to reach there safely, skillfully. HAHAHAHAHA

Were suppose to go Plaza after that but dad said go Bukit mas's temple. So I drove there. I thought it was the temple at the side of the road. Until my dad said " Turn left go up the hill" Then I was like "HUh?turn left? Where are we going?" "Neh! The temple up there" I went WHAT???????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you know how small and narrow is the road UP the hill??!!!!!!!! But, you can't expect me to stop at the side of the road to let my dad drive up. So I went slow and pray OUT LOUD "namo amitabha" while I drove up there slowly praying slowly praying.

FUUUIIHHHH~~~!!! I parked the car safely -.-'

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! So syiok!

NOw the sad story :( TIan hua flying back today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( NGUEK~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!
Miss my teddy bear :(

Nevermind....shall try to get to my dream :)

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

Yes I love my boyfriend, CHANG TIAN HUA. We had been waiting to be in some place that we can meet almost everyday or even close to each other without anybody controlling us.

Unfortunately, we can't. Why? I do not want to tell why. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG story. To cut it short, I will be in bloody Malaysia studying for I do not know how long and he will be in Australia for don't know how long. Well, this is... fate??

I can't do any changes anymore. Just, maybe I'll have a surprise for him when I go July Intake? HAHA. Well, this is the fun part. My dad, an hour ago or plus, just said after getting my SPM result, if good, apply for July and don't register for my piano diploma exam and my violin Grade 8. I wonder if he sees this. Oopss. So, I shall just go Yamaha first and see what is the progress.

My dear Tian Hua, you know I love you so much that I do cry when I know I couldn't get there.

I am sure I'll miss you a lot when we are seperated for few months or even years. I hope when we are seperated we will still contact everyday. Skype, msg or even call. Last year, you call me to most. This time, I'll make sure I do. Find part time jobs or whatever to earn money, save money, courier stuffs that I want you to have, buying stuffs that I want you to have. I don't mind spending that amount of money for you. Money doesn't show the love that I have to you. Keikhlasan hati ku sudah memadai. Time that I spend for you I don't mind AT ALL.

I'm sorry that I've make you not happy, make you cry. I miss you every single day and I love you every single beat of my heart.

Hold Me In Your Arms

No idea why I wrote "hold me in your arms" as the title for this post. Currently listening to it. It is sang by Pixie Lott, the singer that sing "Mama Do" in case you people out there don't know.

Let me copy some parts from the lyrics of that song :

And he says

"Don't you know I love you,

Don't you know you're beautiful"

He says"

Everyday is special,

you have made me believe"

Hold me in your arms

'Cause I'm falling

Hold me in your arms

While we're sleeping

Hold me in your arms

Dreaming of soft cotton clouds

I feel close to you now

Dreaming of candy and chocolate

All the bad girls not allowed

And he says as he thinks I'm sleeping

He whispers

"Girl, you are the one,

Never thought I could feel this way,

Girl, you made me believe"

Though I'm a little scared

That all the times we shared

Almost too perfect to ever last

And when I'm lying here

And you are holding me

I know the fear in me will pass

Hold me

And of course, some of the parts up there are what is in my mind. I can never imagine myself staying here, waiting for every year to end. Have to wait for 3 years. Three ass years.

I don't have the rights to choose what's best for me. Even in my love life, I cannot decide it by myself. I have very little things that I really wish and want to do it by myself. What I want to do, where I want to go to study, who I want to be with. But, my dream is fading away. Its like mist. At first, you'll see a very thick one. And slowly, it becomes thinner and thinner. The mist represents my dreams, my faith, my hopes.

You can't control my mind, my life, my wish, my wills. I have my own thoughts. I deserve to choose some parts of the life that I want. For example, choosing a boyfriend. I'm the one dating a guy. Not his family. I'm the one choosing who makes me happy. You don't have to give me warnings. All of it are poops. I will not give a damn. I will keep breaking your warnings. I don't care whether you will beat me till I die or whatever. I'm just doing the right thing for MYSELF.

Choosing where I want to study, it's my choice. I follow my own mind, my own way, my own path. I follow myself. I don't follow people. People might say I'm so lucky. Get what I want. Why they say so? Cause I'm the only girl in this siblings? I'm daddy's girl? Bullshit. I never get things that I really want. Wait. What am I saying? They don't even know what's on my mind, what feelings I'm having, how are they supposed to know what I really want for myself?

I'm done with all those tears I've shed. I'm done crying. I'm done waiting. I'm too tired. I'm too hurt to feel the tiredness. I feel like giving up. A lot of times. I keep telling "Just go with the flow" but I'm afraid of what will happen next. Waking up everyday, wondering what will my day be? How's my luck for today? How happy will I be today? How sad will I be today?

Without you, I don't know where I'm heading. Have no idea. You're the defination of my life. I cannot live without you by my side. Not even 8 hours flight away.

Confusing Thoughts

I've no idea, why am I feeling so blue suddenly. What am I thinking about? Who am I thinking about? What am I worrying about?

Sometimes, I really feel like letting everything out. Just that, I don't know how to and where to.
I had a great time playing badminton with Jerusha, Wan Dee, and Grace. I was really happy, meanwhile tired. But, after packing our stuffs to go home, I feel so miserable. Felt like the umbrella that is protecting me from getting wet by the rain is gone. Felt like the sky blocked the sun and therefore, no sunlight to shine on me. Eventually, my world is full with darkness, sadness.

I want to cry out. I want to shout out. What are friends for? What is boyfriend for? What is trust for? I feel like I'm a fool being such a good friend for friends while they are not even treating you a one. I'm prepared to be a real friend for them. They are not. I'm missing all those good moments, good memories that I have with them. Going for parties, walking in Taiping Town, sitting in McDonalds laughing, talking, having fun. Now, we still do that. But, it feels different than what we have last time. They are all backstabbers. Spilling out each others' secrets when they are suppose to keep them till they die. These are not friends. They are not the real friends that I wish for. These are friends that always dissapoint you, make you cry, make you angry, make you sad. Never satisfy you as a friend.

Where are you when I need a shoulder to cry on? If only I could, I would run out of the house or even cycle out of the house just to go out with you. Just to go out ANYWHERE. Even alone I don't mind. Just to find people, or whatever. But I can't. I always wanted to hug someone when I don't feel good, don't feel happy. I have no one to.

Why am I feeling so miserable with my life? Come on! It's 2010 already. Get a new life!
That is what I keep telling to myself. It didn't work. I just gotto keep on..trying? haha Try till I'm exhausted.

Temperature is so high now. I want to scream. I want to jump. I want to run. I want to punch. I want to sing out loud. I want to drink. I want to eat. I want to do a lot of things that can make me feel better. Why can't he just understand me? Why can't he just listen to me? Not listen just because he has to listen. Listen and remember and understand everything that I am trying to say. Understand and trust everything that I say.

I want to go Australia study. I'd told him before in primary school. He's the one who forgot. I know before this he did ask me to go U.K. But, I still prefer Aussie. Now that Tian Hua is in OZ, so, with his own mind, own thinking, he thinks that I want to go there cause of him. What the fuck?! Do I really need to be like my brother?

1st reason I want to go OZ.
I have been wanting to go Sydney actually cause its a better place for music. I'd seen advertisement about it during holiday when I was still in primary. You were there. And I did say "Pa..I want go there study.." and you said ok..no problem..then start working hard.. Can't you remember????????????? The advertisement inspire me to learn more about music. Inspire me to love music more and makes me think that music is not what you think it is. It's more than what you think it is.

2nd reason I want to go OZ.
I want to go as far as I can from the problems I have here with both of you, the 2 stone-headed old people. Not that I don't appreciate for who you 2 are for me, its I can't stand anymore. I'm just running away from the problem. I don't want the problem to follow me. Cause if I stay here in M'sia for a long time, I will be a mad monkey cause I have to hear all those kind of nonsense and get a call almost everyday to hear you 2 complain shit. Maybe you will say I won't think about home when I go overseas. YES I WILL! I still will think. I still will miss home. But, I'm already missing home. Not the current home. The past home that I used to have when I was a kid.

3rd reason I want to go OZ.
I choose not to go UK cause I don't want to be so far away from home. Although I don't really like to stay here, I still don't want to go away so far. More Asians in OZ. As I went to Melbourne the other day, I feel that I can cope with their life there. But, I can't imagine myself staying in UK. Before I go to Melbourne, I have this feeling that I will be fine in OZ. But, I can't think of anything if I'll be in UK.

Last reason I want to go OZ..
This reason is not a big deal at all. Its not important at all. Tian Hua is there. Jerusha is there. Sher rin is there. Even if they are not there, I still will go. Cause, I have my own thoughts. I follow what I want. Not follow other people. I choose what is best for me and of course I still will try to satisfy other people. The only reason why I don't want to stay in M'sia is cause I DON'T LIKE!!! Studying music in M'sia is not a good thing at all. Plus, I don't want to get rape. I don't want to get kidnap. I don't want to die early. I don't like the environment over here. I have friends that I don't want to mix cause they make me can't study. I only will miss the food here.

CAN YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND NOW????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is why I shouted in the car. I raised my voice. Cause I can't take it anymore. You wouldn't want to listen to what your daughter wants to say. You won't listen to what your sister wants to say. I am not independant here but when I'm out from here, I feel that I can rely on myself. But yet sometimes I still need my friends to help. But, the basic things, I really can rely on myself.
Yes. I am lazy. I make you worry. I make you can't let me go out study willingly. But, I will change when I'm out there. I will proof it to you. Just need to wait and see.

Genting Highland

Went Genting with Tian Hua, Sher Rin and most importantly Jerusha :)

A 3 Days 2 Nights trip.

It was ohhhhkay la. Not to say very fun cause half of if has been spoilt by my irritating tummy. I can't ride on flying coaster and cockscrew due to the vomitting that I had on the 2nd morning -.-'

HORRIBLE!! But, we played a lot la. Some were closed.

We met Wan Dee, Adeline, Roy and some others. Wan Dee is still Wan Dee but just a little bit too crazy and swear a lot! LOL. But it was fun. Funny too. Had a lot of laughing. Hahah. Nothing much to say about the trip.

But but but but.........................

can spend 3 days with him ma hehehehehehehehehehehe :D:D:D:D:D:D

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Knew something about my audition tape. Am very angry with it. Some errors found in the reply.

- Tan Foong Lee <<>

- "His" <<>

- Claimed that I used a digital piano for my audition <<>

So, I really hope they REconsider about it. Its their mistakes. Fine. The 1st 2 mistakes I forgive - chehwah...hehe - but the last one I am totally upset with it. They are professional people. How can they not know what kind of piano is that? Ish!!!!!!! I hope I get in :(

You were just a car ahead of me. Right when I saw you turning into your house street, I know it's you. I was so close. Few houses away from you.

I wish I could just play you this one particular song. Still remember I said I want to play a song for you? Didn't get to.

What is wrong with my father? He's my boyfriend. Is it wrong for me to go out with my boyfriend? What the heck is wrong with it? Just a movie.

Tomorrow go out with Jerusha. Not him. So what if people say I always go out? Who the ass are they to say me? Go out everyday got what problem? Just go out for almost 2 hours only. Not like he will kidnap me or what! Even if you don't feel safe, I feel damn freaking safe. You don't let me go out when I say his name. What the hell? What's wrong with him? Ask me don't go so close to him. I am not my brother! I know how to control my feelings. My brother ownself find fault not me! I am in the correct lane. Eventhough next time things like him happen on me, I won't be showing those feelings to you! Even now I'm happy, you don't even know. What feelings I have, you don't even know. So, when I break up, will you ever know I'm sad? I'm depressed? Heck no! You won't know at all!! Cause you all, none of you in this family know what I feel nor care what I feel! All you think is only your own feelings!

Can't you just give me freedom to let me go out with my OWN BOYFRIEND FOR GOD SAKE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not like I'm going out with him everyday. Not like you ever let me go out with him everyday. Not like you ever know what's the feelings of going out with him.
If you disagree of him being with me cause of his grandma is related to my mum's sister, I WILL NOT GIVE A DAMN ASS CARE ABOUT IT! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY IT!!! IT'S A NO BLOOD RELATION SO JUST LEAVE IT!!!!
You have no right to ask me to leave my boyfriend. I have my OWN choice. Love life is my life. Not yours. Not any of yours!

Let me choose my own love life. I will NOT regret!!!!!

My Boyfriend

He said "it's not like this relationship is not working."
- I didn't think about this at all.

He said about Scott.
- You might think he will be like that, but you are wrong.
- You can say you know what he is thinking, I think I know better.
- He tells me about all his feelings towards one girl and I have seen the picture and chatted with her.

He said about the consequences.
- I do understand. Really.
- I've promised him before you told me about it. Even before you told me about it, I was already thinking whether I am doing the right thing or not. After thinking a lot of times, I put friends forward.
- Although I sound like I don't care about what you said - the consequences - I really do care a lot.

He said about me feeling awkward or who awkward blabla
- If you said it is a bullshit, think it in a girl's way.
- If you said it is a bullshit, why will my friends understand what I was trying to tell them? Why would they agree with it?
- Try putting yourself in a girl's situation. It is not a bullshit.

He said about he is the one always asking me to go out and I seldom do and so on.
- You ask me out. Yes I really want to go out with you. But, my dad will never let me. If I go out with you alone and my dad knows, he will not let. Hence, I have to lie sometimes that my friends were with me also. I take risk.
- I ask you out when I'm going out with friends. Cause, you are my boyfriend. Who else do you want me to ask? Another point is, I want to spend time with you also in the meantime.

He said about the tak syokness.
- I'd think before "Its ok if he goes out with her. Cause I did that last time."
- The only thing I tak syok is, you go out with her without telling me. At least I do. Cause I went out with him once before without telling you, you were in total anger. So, I dare not anymore. Then, you go out with her without me knowing about it.
- I'm jealous. Yes I am. Cause she gets to go out with you without her parents saying a thing but I can't.

He said he has been trusting me fully for a very long time.
- Yes you did. But when that thing happened, you said you aren't able to. Now you said you have been trusting me fully?
- I admit it was my wrong last time.

He said he doesn't know why I have the thinking of gaining his trust back.
- I have no idea how to gain that.
- Trust can be gain back
- Because you are my boyfriend and I am treating you as my boyfriend and I think I should let my boyfriend trust me fully.
- So I shall not do things that break his trust.
- But, choosing to go out with another guy as a friend to accompany him to the museum seems like is not a good thing.
- So, thinking for the sixth time, I shall not go.

-------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------

I know you don't say "I love you" that often to me and you had told me before.
Sometimes, I just feel like a necessity to hear you say it as a comfort to me.
Sometimes the way you talk to me, react towards me, really makes me wonder whether you really love me or care for me.
I know you really love you - like you said just now until very emotional that makes me melt 15% - but eventhough you really do and eventhough i really do, can you change my dad's and bro's impression?

I hope you understand my feelings also.
Sometimes, I really can imagine us being together till we get married. But, when my dad and bros said things, it's hard for me to imagine.
Maybe now I say I want to be with you always. But, will they ever understand? I mean, I'm the one choosing I know. If they don't, what will happen to me? To you? To us?
Sorry for that pressure you have from them. I know it's not easy.
People say whoever is my boyfriend is a very lucky man. In my mind, it's hard to be my boyfriend as I see my own boyfriend having these kind of pressures. Seeing him not to tell me what he feels, really makes me don't feel comfortable at all.

My boyfriend, is not as smart as you think he is, is not as rich as you think he is, is not as handsome as you think he is, is not as fit as you think he is.
But these are all small matters for me.
I feel happy when I'm with him.
I feel safe when I'm with him.
I feel good when I'm with him.
He bullies me sometimes but I like being bullied by him.
It makes me happy though cause it's him.

The original him, the real him, the true him, are what I love the most.

BIG ISSUE!! and small issue..

the BIG ISSUE!!!!jeng jeng jeng!!!

Aiyak! Cannot write out la. Later I masuk I.S.A. I can't say the word. I only can say..

AIYOR!!!YOU ALL THINK YOU ARE THE KING OF ALL HOMOSAPIENS A?! I THINK THE GOD WON'T CARE ABOUT IT AND YOU ALL WANT SHOW HOW GREAT YOU ALL ARE! KING OF THE JUNGLE A?!

*clear throat*

Well, think twice before you do a thing. God gave your a brain in your skull, not in your pinehole (sorry God for saying bad word), OKAY! Brain is not in your asshole. So, use the brain wisely. Don't keep your brain in your asshole and flow with out with your poop. Cause if you do that, you are the brainless person on earth. Opps, more like THE brainless PEOPLE living on this particular planet named earth.




the SMALL ISSUE!!!!

My dad is making a lot of fuss nowadays. Let me put it in a very simple way.

I am searching for the one that I want to spend my whole entire life with.
I am searching for the husband.
I am the one having a boyfriend.
I am the one that has the right to choose a guy that makes me happy in everyway I am.

So, it is all about me. Right? But, my dad is always telling me, everyday, not to mix with my own boyfriend a lot. Telling me when I go college, university, there'll be a lot of choices. Hello? I'm happy being with him now and you want me to like avoid him or something is it? Seeing your daugther happy isn't it good? Rather than seeing your daughter sad, miserable, having plain life.
Parents only want their children to be happy. I am happy. Aren't you happy, Papa?

........................................................................................................................................................................

THE END!!!!!

To You *smirk*

You smoke....


I S.M.A.C.K

Lets say it again.

You smoke......


I S.M.A.C.K YOU A.S.S.H.O.L.E



*sweet smile* :) hmm..thank you very much although I don't know who you are or you don't know who I am :) *winks*

2010

Since I am in the new year, 2010, not 2009, I guess I'm going to change in the sense of fashion, styles, attitude, personallity, thinking. Hmm. Not that I'll change to the bad one but I will try to change the bad ones to the good ones. And in fashion styles, maybe it will be different from the 2009 Tang Fong. HAHA! Sorry brothers and daddy and mummy. Didn't mean to change my style but mm-hmm, your daughter is growing up with fashions.

I have bad temper. I am going to change this one. Got to try to control my temper when I explore the world. Having this kind of temper is not good at all. You'll tend to make the problems bigger and make yourself stress more. Last time before I enter Form Four, I was able to control. Very well. Things changed. But now,I'm gonna find back the old me :)

Sometimes, I could be very childish. Sometimes, I could be very mature. Sometimes, I could be very open. I think I should be more or less of the very stable attitude kind of girl. When I am childish or mature or open, people scold me. More like nag me. So, I should be more careful on my thoughts. Hehe.

I have to learn to spend money more wisely. I can't waste that much money anymore. NO NO. Ohkay...no more..on clothes? :( Okay. I'd bought quite enough for my leaving to OZ. When it's winter, I'll buy those coats or whatever over there. So, I'm gonna just spend money on food? Hehe. Haih. Must be a good girl :P

A new year and a new beginning. Time to throw all those bad memories and think ahead :)