I should learn to make decisions of my own to make myself happy instead of making others happy. In the end, what do I get? Pretend I am okay with it and smile even if I am not happy and nobody knows it. No one I can talk to no one I can actually spill it out to. No one but you. Why? I screwed up. I took too long time. Too long till it was too late when I saw it.

I have to stop this. I need to.