Recently, I am feeling even more anguish, frustrated, and emotional about almost anything. I needed to shout and I can't be able to keep everything in my head. I don't even know how to word them, don't even know how to let them out. So, they are just there. Just in my head, hiding, caving into self.

Not good. Not good at all.

Eric Suen - 我不爱你了

雨天让后好几个阴天

怎么那些云都像她脸

所以多看一眼

怕梦飞远

心 有时候喜欢被骗

已经没有了 还在快乐的记念

她在做什么

谁得甜不甜

现在陪在谁身边

我不爱你了

如果这样说你会好过一点

假装习惯风平冷静的世界

那也没什么

也许是你 太特别

我不爱你了

原来以为可以骗得过昨天

这样反而让我知道多想念

不管过多久

心还停在 那一年

我太爱你了

说不爱你是我就最后的防线

以为就把伤痛都交给时间

请你好好的

是我唯一的心愿

我不爱你

是最后的防线

朋友 你在那里?

老朋友 你还好吗?

旧情人 你有想我吗?

Friendship

Until now, I have been seeking for answers. What does friendship mean? Why do we have friends? What makes a friendship? What does it really mean to have friends?

Misunderstanding each other words can actually break a friendship. Can it? How are we to explain the misunderstanding if the other doesn't accept or understand the real meaning behind each words we mean?

What its like to have no friends or true friends? What's the difference anyway? Why does it upset us to lose a friend just in a click? But the most important thing is, why do we need to break the friendship instead of giving opportunities for explanation and leave the past in the past?

Why?

有个人 问了我， “你为什么不像见他？ 你为什么那么 恨他？ 那么不喜欢他？”

我不是恨。 也不是不喜欢。

是很心痛。。

I definitely will and I definitely can make it through.

Losing temper whilst knowing it was wrong to just lose it makes me realise things are not as bad if I have never throw my temper.

Everyday I am learning to control my frustration, stress level, anxiety, and all sorts of negative emotions, have me growing into someone who is physically strong, yet weaker mentally. Isn't it suppose to make you feel stronger overall? Do I need to express all negativity to make myself stronger? Or, do I need to cave them in me to make myself stronger in future situations?

All these are confusing to me. What are the support we need? Where, or how are we going to get the support needed? Family? Friends? Partner? Or an enemy perhaps?

I guess all of these depend on how strong our mentality is. And of course, how determined we are to change our perception towards the static goal.