There are so many things that I don't understand. I need answers.

I had enough crying to sleep. I'm tired of it.

No matter how many people have been into your life, there will always be one person who you will always think of almost everyday. And that person no longer acknowledge your presence. How depressing it is even if you try to shake it off and accept the fact. How worthless it is to wish for the stranger back into your life. How selfish a person can be..

I can't take this any longer. The more I convince myself I'm not weak, the weaker I am. I wonder, how long more can I take this? I always tell others "Accept, forgive, and forget. Main thing is to accept, forgive, and let it go." I'm being hypocrite. I can't even let go and fly free. I'm still dragging it and I hate it.

I despise myself.
I'm disgusted by me.

In my mind, always appearing:

"I should have..."

"What if.."

"Why didn't I..."

"Why didn't he..."

And then I say out loud, "Don't regret..no regrets. Be happy even if you're not. Keep the mask on. You'll be fine."

Family..always a stressor.

Money..adds on to it.

Family + money....I'm walking like a drunkie.

This is just unfair.

I am the one who gets the suffer and others have to be happy for me agreeing.

What else do they want to take away from me?

Birthday's coming. Will you message me?

Trying not to think. Trying to ignore the thoughts.

Trying..

說好卻沒一起到的地方
只剩下模糊的想像
總說日子還很長
還記得當時你嚮往的模樣

過去像是破舊的遊樂場
零碎的歡樂最難忘
畫面一直在回放
當初我們是如此愛著對方

你聊起你的流浪
很客氣地分享
你有沒有看穿我還是一樣
淡然應付窘狀 為何還是好難
而你已比從前寬廣

我說著我的近況
儘是無關痛癢
工作依然頻繁我還是一樣
偶爾也會孤單 無數失眠的夜晚
想念你的舊創 也一樣

記憶深處殘存了些盼望
時不時在我腦海蕩
你留給我的影響
多年以後還在我身上頑強

你眉宇還是飛揚 笑聲還是爽朗
愛情走了多遠我難以想像
回不去的時光 落下往日的夕陽
我還有什麼能 不一樣

Even if I want to talk to you, I can't.

我好想你。。。

Too many things to do.

Too many things to worry.

Yet, you're still the biggest distraction.

Crying hard inside.

Trying hard to safe myself.

Happy birthday, thats all I could say.

Will I bump into you tomorrow? Of course I hope I wont be, but if I do, what or how am I to react? I am ready for it. Should I wish you? Or should I just nod and smile and assume you'll get the message?
Lets hope for the best I dont ruin your birthday.

每次 听到方大同的歌， 我会想起你。
好烦。。

他一定很爱你, 也把我比下去.

分手也只用了一分钟而已.

他一定很爱你, 比我会讨好你.

不会像我这样孩子气 为难著你.