Appreciate - ing

I argue over you everyday

Tired

Running out of points

Running out of tears

Can you please appreciate

I am appreciating

Feeling restless

Forgetting a lot of stuffs

Getting retarded by parts

I need ICE-CREAM !!

Toni Braxton ft. Trey Songz - Yesterday

Gave you the benefit of the doubt

Till you showed me what you were about

Your true colors came out

And your words couldn’t hide the scent

Cuz the truth about where you've been

Is in a fragrance I can’t recognize

Standing there

Scratching your head

Blood shot eyes, drunk with regret

(hanging yourself ten feet over the edge)

I’m done with this

Feeling like an idiot

Lovin you, I’m over it

I just don’t love you, don’t love you no more

You, you are so yesterday

Never thought you’d lose my love this way

Now you come begging me to stay

Say, you, you are so yesterday

I won’t let you rain on my parade

Don’t wanna hear a thing you say

So yesterday

Funny now how I’m gone

The little light in your head came on

Now you realize it's all your fault

Don’t you wish you had a time machine

That way you could change history

That's the only way that you could be with me

Standing there

Scratching your head

Blood shot eyes, drunk with regret

(hanging yourself ten feet over the edge)

I’m done with this

Feeling like an idiot

Lovin you, I’m over it

I just don’t love you, don’t love you no more….

You, you are so yesterday

Never thought you’d lose my love this way

Now you come begging me to stay

Honey, you, you are so yesterday

I won’t let you rain on my parade

Don’t wanna hear a thing you say

So yesterday

And now you wanna reminisce

Say you wanna try again

Started with a little kiss

(we can’t even regret) no nono

now I never wanna see you,

never wanna feel you ever wanna hear you

I don’t love you, don’t need you, can’t stand you

No More…..

You, you are so yesterday

Never thought you’d lose my love this way

Now you come begging me to stay

Baby, you……

you are so yesterday

I won’t let you rain on my parade

Don’t wanna hear a thing you say

So yesterday

So yesterday

So yesterday

Days After You Left

Some periods of time are seems to be empty suddenly. Seriously, it was a SUDDEN impact on the time I usually have with you. You'll bug me early in the morning by calling me when I AM in dreamland and say :

"Wei, I'll be reaching your house in 10 minutes (sometimes 5 sometimes 15) time. "

And, I will have to grumble up from my bed, feeling drunk, go to the loo, wash my face, brush my teeth and get down, go out, unlock the gate and drink few mouth of honey. 6 minutes gone. OOHKAY. Shall wait for another 4 minutes. So, I lay down on the sofa. Dozing off. 10 minutes pass. Hmm. He reached 30 minutes later sometimes an hour. He made me wake up SO early but in the end he reach late -.-' aiyoyo! Nevermind looo. Thats our morning time together but not everyday. But, it's alright. Now -.-' nobody bug me in the morning. That makes feel bored in the morning.

For some reasons, he HAS to call me when I'm in the car with my father. Not once but a lot of times. He will call me when he has nothing to do. I could even count. Every 4 hours he call me once or 5 hours. Now, my phone is so silent.

Night time, we will skype. Not everyday, but recently everyday (before he left of course). When it's time to sleep, he will just on his skype. Eventually, I'll on mine too. Oning songs, looking at him sleeping. The way he sleeps, really fascinate me. Haha. No idea why but yeah. Putting his left hand at the back of his neck, opening his mouth (I wonder what happenes if I let a cockroach enter his mouth.heheheh), breathing OUT loud, and the worse one is HIS SNORE! HAHA! Well, it makes me can't sleep but it wake me up just to get a look at him and doze off.

I still remember the night we spent in Penang and Genting. OMG! Haha. No offence hunny bunny. I could not have a good night AT ALL cause of his snore~ Maybe he was too tired and the way he breathe IS wrong. I should buy you breathe right when I get there :D Your belly is for me to sleep on cause it is sssssooooooo pillow-ish heh. Your chest, not really hard and not really soft, but it's comfortable. I still remember you hugged me suddenly at 4 AM plus. I WAS SLEEPING SO NICELY!!!!!!! And you woke me up -.-' You like to wake me up when I'm heaving good sleep huh? Eventually, I stay half awake till the next morning. Sleep wake sleep wake sleep wake. Naughty boy.

Warm warm~~Soft soft~~Comfy comfy~~ Heh :)

ps : HEY!!Girls out there..HE IS MINE!! :D

Now that you left to OZ, wo hao gu dan o.. Yea, we still do msg, chat, talk. But, the time difference is killing me. I finally got my license and I only drove you ONCE. -.-' Sobs..

I am B.O.R.E.D. I'm here and you're like there. Just got to wait for another few months. I hope. I guess. I think. I wonder. Hmm. Well... I love you, you love me. Thats it. I miss you, you miss me (me more). Thats it. There's so many things that remind me of you. Not good. Not good at all. Look front, I see you. Look left, I see you. Look right, I see you. Look behind, I see you. I smell things, I smell you. I hear things, I hear you. OH LORD!! You're everywhere!! How can I not miss you?

:P Mr. Chang Tian Hua..don't make me wait.

Mish you :)

Pray Drive Through

Yup. As you can see from my title of this post, please not that its not HITZ drive through but its PRAY drive through.

Well, I drove a lot today compared to the previous dayS. Simpang to aulong, aulong to bukit mas, bukit mas to plaza (dad drove cause was pouring), plaza to simpang. Felt so much more energetic after that. AHAHA

p/s : I know its grammartically WRONG

Here's the story. Dad wanted to go aulong (nun's house) to pray. So I said "I DRIVE I DRIVE!!" then I drove :D I managed to reach there safely, skillfully. HAHAHAHAHA

Were suppose to go Plaza after that but dad said go Bukit mas's temple. So I drove there. I thought it was the temple at the side of the road. Until my dad said " Turn left go up the hill" Then I was like "HUh?turn left? Where are we going?" "Neh! The temple up there" I went WHAT???????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you know how small and narrow is the road UP the hill??!!!!!!!! But, you can't expect me to stop at the side of the road to let my dad drive up. So I went slow and pray OUT LOUD "namo amitabha" while I drove up there slowly praying slowly praying.

FUUUIIHHHH~~~!!! I parked the car safely -.-'

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! So syiok!

NOw the sad story :( TIan hua flying back today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( NGUEK~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!
Miss my teddy bear :(

Nevermind....shall try to get to my dream :)

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

Yes I love my boyfriend, CHANG TIAN HUA. We had been waiting to be in some place that we can meet almost everyday or even close to each other without anybody controlling us.

Unfortunately, we can't. Why? I do not want to tell why. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG story. To cut it short, I will be in bloody Malaysia studying for I do not know how long and he will be in Australia for don't know how long. Well, this is... fate??

I can't do any changes anymore. Just, maybe I'll have a surprise for him when I go July Intake? HAHA. Well, this is the fun part. My dad, an hour ago or plus, just said after getting my SPM result, if good, apply for July and don't register for my piano diploma exam and my violin Grade 8. I wonder if he sees this. Oopss. So, I shall just go Yamaha first and see what is the progress.

My dear Tian Hua, you know I love you so much that I do cry when I know I couldn't get there.

I am sure I'll miss you a lot when we are seperated for few months or even years. I hope when we are seperated we will still contact everyday. Skype, msg or even call. Last year, you call me to most. This time, I'll make sure I do. Find part time jobs or whatever to earn money, save money, courier stuffs that I want you to have, buying stuffs that I want you to have. I don't mind spending that amount of money for you. Money doesn't show the love that I have to you. Keikhlasan hati ku sudah memadai. Time that I spend for you I don't mind AT ALL.

I'm sorry that I've make you not happy, make you cry. I miss you every single day and I love you every single beat of my heart.

Hold Me In Your Arms

No idea why I wrote "hold me in your arms" as the title for this post. Currently listening to it. It is sang by Pixie Lott, the singer that sing "Mama Do" in case you people out there don't know.

Let me copy some parts from the lyrics of that song :

And he says

"Don't you know I love you,

Don't you know you're beautiful"

He says"

Everyday is special,

you have made me believe"

Hold me in your arms

'Cause I'm falling

Hold me in your arms

While we're sleeping

Hold me in your arms

Dreaming of soft cotton clouds

I feel close to you now

Dreaming of candy and chocolate

All the bad girls not allowed

And he says as he thinks I'm sleeping

He whispers

"Girl, you are the one,

Never thought I could feel this way,

Girl, you made me believe"

Though I'm a little scared

That all the times we shared

Almost too perfect to ever last

And when I'm lying here

And you are holding me

I know the fear in me will pass

Hold me

And of course, some of the parts up there are what is in my mind. I can never imagine myself staying here, waiting for every year to end. Have to wait for 3 years. Three ass years.

I don't have the rights to choose what's best for me. Even in my love life, I cannot decide it by myself. I have very little things that I really wish and want to do it by myself. What I want to do, where I want to go to study, who I want to be with. But, my dream is fading away. Its like mist. At first, you'll see a very thick one. And slowly, it becomes thinner and thinner. The mist represents my dreams, my faith, my hopes.

You can't control my mind, my life, my wish, my wills. I have my own thoughts. I deserve to choose some parts of the life that I want. For example, choosing a boyfriend. I'm the one dating a guy. Not his family. I'm the one choosing who makes me happy. You don't have to give me warnings. All of it are poops. I will not give a damn. I will keep breaking your warnings. I don't care whether you will beat me till I die or whatever. I'm just doing the right thing for MYSELF.

Choosing where I want to study, it's my choice. I follow my own mind, my own way, my own path. I follow myself. I don't follow people. People might say I'm so lucky. Get what I want. Why they say so? Cause I'm the only girl in this siblings? I'm daddy's girl? Bullshit. I never get things that I really want. Wait. What am I saying? They don't even know what's on my mind, what feelings I'm having, how are they supposed to know what I really want for myself?

I'm done with all those tears I've shed. I'm done crying. I'm done waiting. I'm too tired. I'm too hurt to feel the tiredness. I feel like giving up. A lot of times. I keep telling "Just go with the flow" but I'm afraid of what will happen next. Waking up everyday, wondering what will my day be? How's my luck for today? How happy will I be today? How sad will I be today?

Without you, I don't know where I'm heading. Have no idea. You're the defination of my life. I cannot live without you by my side. Not even 8 hours flight away.