Temperature is so high now. I want to scream. I want to jump. I want to run. I want to punch. I want to sing out loud. I want to drink. I want to eat. I want to do a lot of things that can make me feel better. Why can't he just understand me? Why can't he just listen to me? Not listen just because he has to listen. Listen and remember and understand everything that I am trying to say. Understand and trust everything that I say.

I want to go Australia study. I'd told him before in primary school. He's the one who forgot. I know before this he did ask me to go U.K. But, I still prefer Aussie. Now that Tian Hua is in OZ, so, with his own mind, own thinking, he thinks that I want to go there cause of him. What the fuck?! Do I really need to be like my brother?

1st reason I want to go OZ.
I have been wanting to go Sydney actually cause its a better place for music. I'd seen advertisement about it during holiday when I was still in primary. You were there. And I did say "Pa..I want go there study.." and you said ok..no problem..then start working hard.. Can't you remember????????????? The advertisement inspire me to learn more about music. Inspire me to love music more and makes me think that music is not what you think it is. It's more than what you think it is.

2nd reason I want to go OZ.
I want to go as far as I can from the problems I have here with both of you, the 2 stone-headed old people. Not that I don't appreciate for who you 2 are for me, its I can't stand anymore. I'm just running away from the problem. I don't want the problem to follow me. Cause if I stay here in M'sia for a long time, I will be a mad monkey cause I have to hear all those kind of nonsense and get a call almost everyday to hear you 2 complain shit. Maybe you will say I won't think about home when I go overseas. YES I WILL! I still will think. I still will miss home. But, I'm already missing home. Not the current home. The past home that I used to have when I was a kid.

3rd reason I want to go OZ.
I choose not to go UK cause I don't want to be so far away from home. Although I don't really like to stay here, I still don't want to go away so far. More Asians in OZ. As I went to Melbourne the other day, I feel that I can cope with their life there. But, I can't imagine myself staying in UK. Before I go to Melbourne, I have this feeling that I will be fine in OZ. But, I can't think of anything if I'll be in UK.

Last reason I want to go OZ..
This reason is not a big deal at all. Its not important at all. Tian Hua is there. Jerusha is there. Sher rin is there. Even if they are not there, I still will go. Cause, I have my own thoughts. I follow what I want. Not follow other people. I choose what is best for me and of course I still will try to satisfy other people. The only reason why I don't want to stay in M'sia is cause I DON'T LIKE!!! Studying music in M'sia is not a good thing at all. Plus, I don't want to get rape. I don't want to get kidnap. I don't want to die early. I don't like the environment over here. I have friends that I don't want to mix cause they make me can't study. I only will miss the food here.

CAN YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND NOW????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is why I shouted in the car. I raised my voice. Cause I can't take it anymore. You wouldn't want to listen to what your daughter wants to say. You won't listen to what your sister wants to say. I am not independant here but when I'm out from here, I feel that I can rely on myself. But yet sometimes I still need my friends to help. But, the basic things, I really can rely on myself.
Yes. I am lazy. I make you worry. I make you can't let me go out study willingly. But, I will change when I'm out there. I will proof it to you. Just need to wait and see.