Secret Garden - Always There

Browsing through your pictures and it makes me wonder as my iTunes' playlist was playing "Always there".

You are there when I most need you
You are there so constantly
You come shining through,
you always do
You are always there for me

Not to say it's 100% not true. But, yea, you weren't here when I most need you. You weren't here so constantly. You don't come shining through my day when I need you. You don't always do. And, you are not always here for me. Maybe you read this you'll feel not happy about it. It just came through my mind. Cause I was thinking, "hmm..when is the time he'll be here when I'm suffering, stressing, angry, bad mood, or whatever?" So, flashback.

- Form 4, when I was crying like waterfall cause of her. That also like er..for a while.
- My application..failed..in genting. You were not there when I got the news. So, it didn't count.
- When I bang someone recently, but it was just a call -.-'
- Recording for my audition (this's the only fullest of need I got from you)

Maybe there's more but I couldn't recall much about it.

When I got disturbed after tuition (last year), wanted to tell you but you were hmm..do not want to bring it up cause it involves someone else.
When I argue with my dad for you, you were somewhere in town.
When I need someone to talk to, you were busy.
When I'm in a bad mood, I waited for you until the bad mood is gone. So, it became restless when I talk to you. Maybe that makes you feel not happy recently with my msges. Sorry for that :(

But, actually, I need you all the time. I am greedy. I know. You are too. I shall not be too greedy to have you with me all the time. So, nevermind.

Surprisingly, I did not miss you that much as I did for the past few weeks. Was making myself busy you see. Trying not to make myself miss you that much cause it makes me extremely lazy. Lying down on bed, play computer, lying on sofa just to think of you. But today, I spent hours on piano. And house chores (goodie girl). Then I realised I wasn't thinking much about you.

Here I am now, sitting in front of computer. Fine... Miss you already :( and you're sleeping. So early today. That's a different thing. And again, no reply when I msged. I know I didn't reply you in skype cause I was playing piano. Hey, I msged you directly after I read your msg. But no reply :( Maybe you're asleep already. Nevermind.

GOOD NIGHT!!!

ps : Don't get mad of me after reading this. Just a little part of how I feel.